


bad days

by gigglesandfreckles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Grand Master & Grand Padawan Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Overprotective Anakin Skywalker, Possession, Whump, post-Mortis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27036751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesandfreckles/pseuds/gigglesandfreckles
Summary: Ahsoka tries to squeeze out of her grand master exactly what happened on Mortis. and, as always, Obi-Wan is powerless to deny her anything, no matter how painful that truth may be.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 9
Kudos: 216





	bad days

**Author's Note:**

> lots of dialogue...probably an annoying amount. but I just love these two and didn't care to waste time writing the imagery of the ugly, boring star cruiser quarters that provides the setting to this conversation so THIS IS WHAT I'VE GOT TO OFFER. 
> 
> day15 of my selective whumptober 2020 participation. hehe oops.

Ahsoka popped her head around the doorway. “Master Kenobi?”

He looked up from his datapad with a smile. It was a look that Ahsoka had selfishly claimed as being _hers;_ a warm smile that didn’t show his teeth, but still reached his eyes. “Come in, Ahsoka.”

She stepped into the room, timidly padding her away across the small room, sitting at the edge of the bunk he was reclined on. 

“Ready to be home?” he asked, clicking his datapad off and laying it to the side.

“Definitely,” she nodded vigorously, flipping her hands over in her lap. 

“Did you get tired of the bridge?”

“Master Skywalker’s been stressed since we boarded,” shrugged Ahsoka. “I wanted to get out of the line of fire for a second.”

Obi-Wan smiled knowingly. “Yes, I’m afraid Anakin’s been a bit on edge since our adventure…”

“Adventure,” snorted Ahsoka. “Is that what you call it?”

“Only because I’m wary to call it a group hallucination.” He chuckled.

She _wished_ it had been a group hallucination. Everything had moved so fast; she really wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. The night in the cave...that _had_ to be fake. And her time in the cell with the Son? What had _happened?_

None of that even touched the surface of whatever had happened to Anakin when she had picked Obi-Wan off the side of the cliff.

“Something on your mind, little one?” he probed.

Ahsoka felt exactly that: little.

She shifted in her seat. “Just thinking about the past few days.”

He hesitated. “Anything specific?”

“I know you won’t tell me.”

Obi-Wan sighed, leaning back against the wall and turning fully toward her. “Ahsoka…”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I just...don’t understand. What... _happened?_ ”

He studied her for a moment, his grey eyes darker than normal. “I don’t know, Ahsoka.”

“Master Skywalker said--”

“You _know_ why he doesn’t want it discussed,” Obi-Wan cut in.

“But you’re _his_ master. Can’t you, I don’t know...overrule him?” she whined.

His mouth twitched. “Anakin didn’t listen to me very much when he _was_ my padawan. I doubt he’d adhere to my ‘overruling’ now.”

“But, Master,” she insisted, huffing in frustration. “Anakin is...not okay. He’s been off and I _know_ it’s not just because of Mortis. It...it has to do with whatever happened to me, specifically, doesn’t it? He can’t even look at me without that weird look and it’s just...not him.”

Obi-Wan seemed to stare through Ahsoka. “Masters don’t love when their padawans are having...a bad day.”

Ahsoka watched her feet swing off the side of the bunk. “Is that what happened to him?” 

Obi-Wan’s gaze was cloudy.

“Master?”

He blinked. “What?”

Her eyebrows lowered in concern. “Master Skywalker...when I picked you up, was he...was he having a ‘bad day?’”

The older Jedi took a deep breath, folding his hands in his lap. “A very bad day, Ahsoka.”

“He doesn’t remember it, does he?”

“No,” confirmed Obi-Wan quietly. “He doesn’t.”

“Did he...did he try to hurt you?”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes then. His eyebrows knit into a deep line over his eyes and Ahsoka decided in that moment she would do absolutely _anything_ to make sure he would never have that expression again. “Ahsoka,” he choked out, “the dark side is merciless.”

Ahsoka froze, unsure of what to do. He seemed to almost be having a fit of some sort and she considered going to grab a medic or Anakin or _someone_ , but as quick as he broke down, he pulled it back together and opened clear eyes.

“I had a bad day, too, didn’t I?” she whispered.

Obi-Wan didn’t respond.

“Tell me,” she begged. “Please, Master.”

“Ahsoka,” he sighed tiredly.

“No,” she said, her voice shaking but somehow also _strong_ , “I...I need to know.”

Obi-Wan pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his knees. He tilted his head, watching Ahsoka in that _Obi-Wan_ way that made her feel like she was a particularly difficult stanza of Bocce or an out-of-place archive.

“Shame is one of the most dangerous opponents of the Force,” he said finally. “When we let it sit, idle, in our minds, it...grows. It begins to take over the bits of light we hold onto and twist the best parts of ourselves into our deepest flaws.”

Ahsoka frowned at his sudden monologue.

“Do you understand, Ahsoka?”

“I...think so. Yes.”

“You cannot let it gain a grip in your consciousness. You must guard against it, no matter how…” he took a shaky breath, “no matter how _persuasive_ it may be.”

“Master, what are--”

“The Son is the closest being I have ever encountered to being the carnate dark side,” he continued. “He wasn’t Sith, but he was...dangerous. Something deeper and darker than the category we assign to force-wielders like Maul.” Ahsoka nodded, having deduced this much herself. Being carried a few hundred feet in the air by talons that reeked of death and decay sent that message _loud and clear_.

“I don’t understand all of it myself,” admitted Obi-Wan. “But he...did something to you.” The older Jedi hesitated then, looking very much like he changed his mind about having this conversation.

“What did he do?” pushed Ahsoka.

“Like I said before, young one, I...I don’t know,” he said helplessly. “Somehow, he...changed you.”

“I turned to the dark side,” realised Ahsoka, her shoulders shaking at the revelation.

The thin mattress beneath her seemed to give way, all of a sudden. She was falling, falling, falling, because it had _happened_. The very thing she had guarded against her whole life, the largest lesson of her entire time at the Temple, the thing she was the most _afraid of_...she became it.

“ _No_ ,” Obi-Wan leaned forward, grabbing the shoulder closest to him. “ _You_ did not, dear one. _He_ did it. You had no part in any of it. No blame. This is what I told you about shame. You cannot let it in. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Her throat was still closing in on itself, but she managed a small nod. “I...think...so.”

He left his hand on her shoulder, though his grip lessened. “He was using you to get to Anakin.”

Her eyes widened and she looked to her grand master. “Did it...work?”

Obi-Wan squeezed her shoulder again in preemptive comfort. “Yes.”

“Master,” her lip quivered. “What did I...what did he make me do?”

“It wasn’t _you_. I know that and _Anakin_ knows that,” he reassured her yet again, before taking another deep breath. “The Son wanted Anakin’s allegiance and he knew that you were the best tool he had. He pitted you against Anakin, twisted your mind and your insecurities into hatred.” His hand fell from her shoulder. “You attacked him.”

“I attacked _Anakin?_ ” she asked in horror. “I...how...I--”

“He’s fine, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan held up a hand. “It takes more than a padawan having a _bad day_ to take down our Anakin.” He gave a fond half-smile. “Besides,” another sigh, “he did...have help.”

Ahsoka’s eyes bugged out of her head. “ _You, too?_ ”

Obi-Wan grimaced. “It wasn’t a good day for any of us.”

Ahsoka sat with the weight of this for a moment, ignoring the heat on the side of her face from where Obi-Wan was watching her. She had _attacked_ them. Anakin and Obi-Wan. Her _masters_. She couldn’t even _imagine_ a world in which she would lift a lightsaber against either of them.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “For telling me.”

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka.”

All the pieces suddenly clicked together. Anakin’s abrupt hug when she’d come to. His strict instructions for her to stay with him as he instructed the men on the bridge and then made holo-call after holo-call to various Council members, regardless of how useless her presence was. He’d even required her to be present for his call to Senator Amidala, which _definitely_ was abnormal.

“He thinks it’s his fault, doesn’t he?”

A sigh. “I told you. Shame can be very persuasive.”

“But it wasn’t his fault! The Son took me. Surely he doesn't think--”

“I assure you, little one,” Obi-Wan cut her off, regarding her with that sad smile that reminded her how many years of pain and loss there were between them, “there is very little room for reason when you care for someone as much as Anakin cares for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I rewatched Rebels recently and I just can't stop thinking about what little Soka would have done if she knew Mortis wouldn't be the only time she'd be dueling her master to the death. and please PLEASE feel free to read as much into Obi's comments about shame as you want: he is absolutely a hypocrite and it absolutely shatters my heart.
> 
> to all who come to this sad place: welcome and thank you. <3
> 
> tumbly: giggles-and-freckles


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